It's Just Air!

"Food is a such a frustrating concept," I told my therapist, Sarah, yesterday, "It's one of the basic necessities of life, but, unlike air or water, eating food involves so many choices. What to eat, when to eat it, and how much of it? We breath and drink water without even thinking about it!"

"That may be true for you," Sarah replied, "but what if you were particularly concerned about the quality of the air you were breathing, so much so that it consumed your thoughts. You then researched areas of the world that had the purest, cleanest air and confined yourself to only those areas. In fact, you were terrified of going outside of those "safe" areas. You became so obsessed with clean air that it took precedence over friends, family, and all else in your life. You would isolate yourself from everyone else just to comply with the demands of your obsession with air."

"Wow," was all I could say at first. "I guess you could have an air disorder or water disorder. Although that sounds completely bizarre to me because 'it's just air', someone without an eating disorder would look at my behaviors and say 'it's just food'. I mean, my husband certainly doesn't think too much about food. He just eats."

"Right," Sarah said, "Food is not the culprit of an eating disorder. It's one's relationship with food and eating."

"Yup, I definitely make food to be about more than food. I make it about structure, control, and morality. Poor food; I have made it the enemy this entire time."

"That's okay. You're slowly stepping back and seeing the big picture."

This was a part of my conversation with Sarah yesterday. It helped me to realize that food is not the enemy, even though I get mad at food all the time for being so complicated and difficult to figure out. It isn't food that needs understanding; it's my relationship with the food that matters.

Isn't Sarah so super smart and awesome?!!

-Emily