This is what my supervisor at work, Kathy, asked me the other day. I was doing work at my computer and she, on her lunch break, came over and sat next to me. In an almost whisper voice (like we were talking about orgasms or something), she said, "Emily, I have to know your secret to being so darn thin." Kathy is such a sweet woman, and, being obese, she has been searching high and low for the "the perfect diet". Diets are a frequent point of discuss among my coworkers.
"Kathy," I replied, "I'm going to be completely honest with you. I've had an eating disorder for many years, and it's the battle of my life. I stay so thin because I restrict what I eat, and it's awful. I may look thin and put-together, but I'm just as lost as you are in terms of knowing what is okay to eat."
"I had no idea," she replied with surprise. "I look at someone like you and immediately assume that since you're skinny that you've got it all figured out."
"That's the misconception. Truly, even though someone looks like they're the perfect size, they're probably just as confused as you are about what they should be eating. I think we're all trying to put the puzzle together," I said.
"So," Kathy proposed, "you and I, it sounds like, are dealing with the same issue but at opposite ends of the spectrum."
"Exactly."
I was SOOOO glad that we had this conversation. Not only was it a bond between us, but I hope that it ended Kathy's assumption that skinny people have it any more figured out than she does. Food seems to be puzzle that a lot of us are trying to make sense of.
Thank you for reading!
-Emily
I think that's so great that you were able to speak out. It gives the ed that much less power and gives you a bit more courage and strength with each word you speak. One of the things I have learned throughout my recovery is that our secrets keep us sick. There is so much truth to that statement. I am proud of you for opening up to your coworker because not only did that educate her, but it also gave you some of the power back from the eating disorder. And it sounds like she is someone who you can add to your list of supporters, and you can never have too many. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep fighting for recovery... you WILL get there! ;)
ReplyDeleteYou are so right about hiding vs. honesty. Hiding has been a part of my ED for as long as I can remember. Thank you so much for sharing!
ReplyDelete-Emily