Long Story: Melanie returned my call about seeking treatment and strongly advised that I find a way to keep my appointment with Sandra because of how much experience she has in treating eating disorders. She admitted that she doesn't have as much experience and wants me to get the best help possible. When I told her how guilty I would feel about spending the money on deductibles and coinsurance, she said, "Emily, that guilt is ED talking. If you can find a way to afford it, the treatment with Sandra will be worth whatever it costs because she can build a solid program for you."
After talking to Melanie, I was so confused about what to do because I truly am so hesitant to spend a lot of money on treatment. I mean, who knows if it will even work? This could add up to over $1,300 before January is over! My mom wisely told me not to look too far out into the future and to just make one decision at a time. She generously offered to pay for my first appointment with Sandra and said, "Maybe that first appointment will help you decide what to do."
I am so thankful that she supports me. It's nice to hear someone say that I deserve treatment because it alleviates some of the guilt.
I am SOOOOOOO excited to meet Sandra on Saturday and talk to her. I have no idea where we're going to start or what she'll ask me. I mean, where do you start to talk about 12 years of an eating disorder? I just know that I'm excited. It feels like waiting for Christmas!!
I hope you all have a fun, safe Halloween tomorrow!
-Emily
Im so excited for you! Have you ever been in treatment for your ed?
ReplyDeleteI have been in treatment before, but I quit going after the first appointment. Looking back, I don't think I really wanted to let go of my ED then. Now, I know I'm ready to get rid of him!!!
ReplyDeleteGood! Im glad your at that point. You deserve happiness and to be free!
ReplyDeleteI know this may be semi rude to ask (maybe) but ive been reading your blog since i found it and find you to be so inspirational. I recently caught the blogging bug and started my own. Except… i have no readers. Id feel honored if you would maybe give my lil blog a shot out on one of your posts? If not i understand, but it never hearts to ask right??
I would be happy to recognize your blog in a post! For me, blogging is a lot about support for each other, so I would love to help you in any way I can!
ReplyDeleteI know the money thing can be a stress when you are trying to find a treatment team and find people who will help you in recovery. I know this TOO well. But like people have said to me whenever I felt like parents or myself were spending too much and I would feel guilty about it... they ALWAYS told me that my life was MORE important than any amount of money.
ReplyDeleteYou deserve the treatment, you deserve the help no matter the cost. And your mom is right, just take it one appointment at a time and see what happens. And you DO deserve this chance for recovery!
I am glad to hear your excitment about seeing the therapist this week, that is such a good sign that you are willing and ready for the help and the skills and things that the therapist will be able to teach you ;)
I am always here for you as a support if you ever feel you need someone to talk to. This week is the start of the beginning of your new life! ;) I am proud of you for sticking with it ;)
wow, thanks so much Emily!
ReplyDeleteAnd i keep checking daily to see if theirs any new mews on your treatment! Praying fro you girl.